The fire alarm will no longer be used to alert the staff of liquor shortages. I was not thinking properly when I used it last time and had to wait two hours for the fire department to clear the building before I was able to send an assistant to the liquor store to refill the cabinet. Thus, I have taken it upon myself to have a specific alarm installed throughout headquarters.
I would like to schedule a practice drill this Friday at 1:30PM.]
Attached you will find the design for the staff shirt for all new recruits and lower-ranking agents. Let me know which is more appropriate.]
I would like to inquire about the consequences of Loki and Wilson’s prank for those SHIELD employees who have no hair.
On another note, I stopped by your office and you weren’t there. Is everything alright?]
I would like to personally apologize for the unannounced hiatus that this digital documentation record took for the past month. The unpaid intern in charge of keeping this record updated apparently was having difficulties balancing this vital work alongside the demands of her Masters program and student teaching. Why she found this challenging, I have not the slightest.
However, I would like to assure you that I have had a long discussion with her, after which Pepper had a long discussion with me, and things are getting back on track. Any delays henceforth are unfortunate but justified.
- Stark out
I was simply attempting to give a reasonable explanation as to why Deadpool has been frequenting the HQ lately.
That, and making a point to the chefs, who obviously are in need of some culinary skills.]
[RE: THIN WALLS
I apologize that any merriment Captain Rogers and I may partake in today may permeate the thin walls of the HQ. However, I believe this only emphasizes the fact that the poor construction of the building is a matter that clearly needs to be addressed.
This will not, however, influence our activities in any way.]